A convicted murderer who killed his retired neighbour has insisted he cannot remember the incident, a court has heard.
Brian Whitelock, 57, attacked horsewoman Wendy Buckney, 71, with a kitchen knife, a broken table leg and wooden shelving during a sustained assault in her home in August 2022.
The body of the bloodstained and naked pensioner was discovered in the living room of her home in Clydach, near Swansea.
Whitelock, of Tanycoed Road, Clydach, who is representing himself in the trial, appeared in the dock at Swansea Crown Court on Tuesday to defend himself.
CT scans from the time showed he had a brain bleed and a cracked skull.
“I can’t remember being arrested, I have a vision of Jeffrey Llewelyn (my neighbour) shouting at me and sirens, lights come up the street,” he said, addressing the jury.
“I have no idea why I was at Wendy’s or what I was doing, I can only go off the records.
“It’s horrible what’s happened, it’s absolutely horrific – what I have done, what I have caused somehow.
“I don’t know what else I can say – I’m sorry – I can’t forgive myself, I don’t think I will ever come to terms with what’s happened, I expect to spend the rest of my life in jail, I deserve to.
“Why did I do that to someone, to anyone, to Wendy, someone who was so nice to me? To do that to anyone at all is horrific.”
He added: “I don’t even know whether I’ve done it, I’m just accepting that I’ve done it, I’m accepting my fate.”
The jury heard he had a “normal life” before he hit his head, which he claimed led to memory loss and days without sleep.
He also denied having a problem with alcohol and drugs but accepted smoking cannabis daily.
Whitelock has pleaded guilty to manslaughter by way of diminished responsibility but denies murder.
The court has previously heard that Whitelock was jailed for life in 2001 for murder and manslaughter and released from prison in 2018.
He battered Nicholas Morgan to death with an axe handle and set fire to his body. Whitelock’s brother Glen, who was asleep, died in the subsequent blaze.
Christopher Rees KC, prosecuting, accused Whitelock of not being “prepared to tell the jury the truth” of what happened to Ms Buckney and that it was easier to say he did not remember.
He also said Whitelock had not been entirely truthful with the jury, with the defendant claiming he had not been in trouble with the law since he was let out of prison.
But Mr Rees said that was not true and that he had assaulted a worker in a Co-op store in Swansea in 2020.
Mr Rees said: “You told the jury you had no history of violence, apart from murder and manslaughter, you accept that’s wrong because you were convicted on December 7 2020 for an offence of battery.”
The defendant then refused to answer questions about his previous murder conviction.
“I’m not answering any more questions about a trial that happened 24 years ago – I have already lived through this,” Whitelock said.
“What happened 24 years ago has no relevance to this trial.”
He accused the prosecution of trying to “tie me in knots”.
The trial continues.
